Everybody needs boundaries. They’re not always easy to define and they’re often even harder to enforce, but everyone needs them.
Boundaries protect us from others, as well as ourselves.
Recently, I’ve watched several people struggle with them. Just last night, someone I know personally crossed one of mine and I felt obligated to reinforce those boundaries.
It’s everywhere though, and the internet in general -Facebook in particular- seems to be a place where it’s lost often.
People sometimes cross their own boundaries and you can almost feel the uncomfortable nature of it. These are the people who generally feel as if life has wronged them in some way.
It’s been my experience that people who intentionally cross their own boundaries often offer an explanation for their actions.
Someone I vaguely know is like that. They will practically say “I knew this is probably wrong, but I’m doing it anyway because my life has been hard and it’s not fair” or “people have treated me this way, so I feel justified in doing this”.
My thoughts is, if you feel you have to explain it or justify it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it.
To me, boundaries and ethics often walk hand in hand. While I realize that not everyone has the same ethics, I do believe everyone has their own and that you should honor your personal ethics. If you feel you are truly doing nothing wrong, then why do you feel obligated to explain yourself?
I believe that boundaries are healthy. Everyone should have limits to their personal behavior and also to how they allow the world to treat them but we have to temper our reactions to fit our personal ethics. As the old saying goes, two wrongs doesn’t make it right.
Growing up, having and enforcing boundaries was an issue for me. I was raised by a firm hand in a “do what you’re told, you don’t have a choice” environment. I think because of that, having boundaries now is even more important to me.
My boundaries define my personal space and my place in my world. Enforcing them can often be hard for me but since the death of my mother, I’m getting better at it.
Do you enforce your boundaries?
This post is part of my Sunday Dump project where I pick a topic and write, unedited. These posts may seem jumbled at times but that is due to the lack of editing. If you’d like to learn more about the Sunday Dump, you can find a post here explaining it.